Gracious Gift

My devotions went as far as my "Pauline prayer" for the morning. I couldn't get past 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17:

"Now may the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and our God and Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting consolation and good hope by grace, comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work."

Paul makes a request, but begins it by stating an already proven truth that validates his request. (I cannot help but begin in praise for the ability to have such confidence in our God!) The initial truth is that Christ and our Father (commentaries explain the verb usage to reveal a unification establishing equality of the Persons) has done two things: 1) loved us, and 2) by grace has given us unending comfort (encouragement) in our present struggles and good (beneficial) hope through the promise of eternity with a victorious Savior.

On the basis of these gifts, Paul can confidently ask his two-fold request: 1) that this same Giver would comfort the hearts of the Thessalonians who had misunderstood through false teaching and become fearful regarding the Day of the Lord (2:1-3), and 2) that He would establish (strengthen) them both in what they spoke (gospel sharing: defense and confirmation of the gospel), and in what they did (gospel living: doing all to the glory of God).

While these two short verses are packed with incredible truths, I was most encouraged by the little phrase "by grace" at the end of verse 16. This is a prayer that is only possible through God's grace. I have no present encouragement, no future hope, no comfort or strength to live and speak as I should without His enabling grace. What praise can I render for such an indescribable gift? I believe He will be most honored if I will respond wholeheartedly to it.

A Timely Break

My break in Va Beach last weekend was refreshing and timely. I was so thankful for the time spent with Grace, with Gramps and Gram, with Kirk Lehner, and the added blessing of seeing Uncle Matt from Northland! The brief but quality time helped me relax, refocus, and even reconsider my purpose here. I'm not ready to quit school, but I am striving to find how the Lord wants me to gain for eternity in everything I do, and not just to store knowledge for the here and now. I did come back from my weekend with some looming questions, but have since had a good talk with my wise mom, and I am confident that the Lord will continue to guide me. I feel somewhat like a pendulum swinging back and forth, but (if the analogy holds) it should continue to narrow its width of extremes.
Thank you to those of you who pray for me. I covet these more than ever as my presently fewer opportunities for spiritual fellowship give thanks for those of the past and confidently hope for the future. I rest in the comforting assurance of God's perfect provision in every area of my life. He Himself is what makes it so. The Giver has provided a Gift that cannot be surpassed.

The Blessings of Fall

Besides being my favorite season, Fall at JMU includes a school break. While this "Fall Break" consists only of a Friday off, it allows for a long weekend which I plan to spend in Va Beach with Grace, my grandparents, and also Uncle Matt. The timing of the respite is of the Lord. This week I have struggled with missing my Northland friends and the spiritual environment that surrounded me there. I have the confidence that the Lord is providing all that I need, but I am having to choose to dwell on unchanging truths rather than past experiences.
Yesterday's devotional in None But the Hungry Heart read, "We never surrender what we value until we find [something] better, and man is so full of himself and his own will that until he finds out the sovereignty of his Father's will he can be neither an obedient nor a suitable servant." It goes on to say that He often teaches us this lesson through trying and painful circumstances. His purpose for this is not our pain, but rather our realization of dependence on Him. What proof of His sovereignty! He does work all things for our good and for His glory. My time here at JMU is working toward these ends, and I can choose to rejoice in this.
And in the meantime, I am exceedingly thankful for the opportunity I have to be refreshed this weekend.

Blessings in the Void

From a musical standpoint, the weekend of travel and performance went well. However, an obvious void loomed as all the attention and focus centered on none but the temporary. From the times of "focus" to comments like "Tonight is about us," the aspect of public praise to the Lord was painfully lacking. But how thankful I am to still be able to do all that I do to His glory, even if only in my heart. And the Lord also put me with two Christian girls on the team for the weekend and allowed us to stay Friday night with a lady who understood musical ministry. These were encouragements to me, along with little things like a walk in the fall leaves before Saturday's performance, finding a penny on the piano, and getting to see my Dad in Richmond. The Lord is so good to continue to bless and encourage as He teaches me.

A Tour to End the Week

I leave tomorrow morning for a mini-tour with the Madison Singers, a 24-voice ensemble I am accompanying this semester. We will be performing twice in Richmond, Va on Friday, and again on Saturday evening in Charlottesville, Va. While it won't be quite like my experience with Northland's Fall '05 Ministry Team, I am thankful for the opportunities I've had and will continue to have to share music with others. My main role with the group is a set of Nocturnes by Morten Lauridsen. But more than providing piano accompaniment, I hope to be a usuable instrument in shining Christ and spreading the message of the gospel. Would you please pray that the Lord would give me grace and boldness to offer myself in this way?

"We will sing and praise Your power." (Ps. 21:13 NLT)
"It is not that we think we can do anything of lasting value by ourselves. our only power and success come from God." (1 Cor. 3:5 NLT)

Sight of Love

"For Your lovingkindness is before my eyes" Ps. 26:3.

The New Living Translation reads, "I am constantly aware of Your unfailing love. David reveals his secret for endurance through adverse circumstances -- perspective. Everything he views comes into focus through the lens of God's love. The characters of circumstance blur in the background drawing attention to the clear image of Sovereign grace.
Without the correct lens, the characters draw too much attention to themselves, detracting from the image that is meant to be accented. Yet the Lord has provided the lens of His love as a means by which we might see every aspect of our lives as an occasion for His glory. Every believer possesses this lens, but must choose to make use of it. Often, the knowledge of its quality and the initial desire for its outcome are soon overpowered by competitors offering deceivingly appealing perspectives.
My lens has been both challenged and put to use this week. The strains of a competitive graduate school at a secular university provide many opportunities to either use or neglect this lense. And my "practice pains" have risen to a new level, but just in time for me to read this verse this morning! I am grateful to the Lord for His grace in allowing me to see His love in my difficulties.

Family Weekend

The coming week's schedule doesn't exactly match the wonderfully relaxing weekend I enjoyed with my family, but I was able to set aside the books and the piano practice just fine and spend a refreshing 40 hours with Dad, Mom, Katie, and Buddy here in Harrisonburg. The Saturday night JMU POPS concert went well -- I joined the symphony orchestra for an exciting performance of four Star Wars movements. Three other music ensembles along with the orchestra provided a very professional but fun evening. The weekend was full of enjoyable things -- like Thai food Friday night, a Scrabble game with Mom, a Cribbage round with Katie, grilling, wonderful coffee with even better people to share it with (thank you, Pastor and Mrs. Kimbrough!), and beautiful weather to enhance it all.
Although I have my first test in the morning, I was reminded how the Lord provides exactly what I need, even if it doesn't match my own ideas. I am refreshed and ready to face my week in the strength of the One who has called me to it.

Good and Perfect Gifts

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning" James 1:17.

Some gifts come packaged and wrapped, but some can't be confined to such, like a beautiful sunset or answered prayer. Some are anticipated, others surprise. Some are small while others overwhelm. As the receiver of a variety of gifts this week, I want to praise the Giver. His goodness is not determined by His gifts. In fact, it seems that His goodness is better realized in the waiting. Yet when He chooses to reveal His goodness through His gifts, He is the One to whom all praise is due. So I must testify of this as I think back through my week. I received gifts such as physical strength to persevere through weariness, emotional strength to deal with pain, energy for a class presentation and performance, a clear answer to a prayer for wisdom and direction, opportunities to testify of His work in me, restful sleep, spiritual refreshment from His Word, and even "little" things like chocolate, and the anticipated arrival of my family for a weekend visit!

I'm not the determiner of the goodness of the gift. That is the decision of the Giver. How thankful I am to be able to confidently trust that He will not withhold any good thing from those that walk uprightly! (Ps. 84:11)

After a Busy Week. . .

I decided to climb a tree. Yes, the life of a graduate student has enveloped me for the past week, and I needed an outlet. My aunt and uncle have an apple tree in the back yard, and no one enjoys its gifts except the bugs and one groundhog who makes appearances for each meal. I have gone out to pick them, but most have been either hanging beyond my reach or already infested. This evening, however, after eating my dinner on the screened-in porch, I walked out to assess the possibility of climbing up, and then the extent of the reward for my labor (which turned out to be quite satisfactory, not because of the number of good apples, but because of the refreshment of a challenge completed and enjoyed). Since I was home alone, I decided not to go for the best apples which happened to be hanging farthest from the trunk and highest from the ground. But I did find a few that the insects had missed.

What does this have to do with graduate school? I'm not really sure. Maybe it is my way of keeping some balance in my life! This week has had its challenges: accompanying for a senior vocalist preparing for a very quickly-approaching recital, deciding on and researching for a large project, preparing a Beethoven sonata presentation and performance for which I have not had the length of time nor the wrist cooperation to perfect, health concerns in my family members and friends, and my own struggles of wrist pain, exhaustion, and other personality "weaknesses" (yes, these are good for me, but hard). The Lord has been so good to put these things in my life in order that my weaknesses would magnify His strength. And I also praise Him for the time He gives to take a break from graduate school life and enjoy His creation, even in an apple tree.

Painful Rejoicing

Because I had no access to a piano this past summer, adjusting to a four-hour practice day has been difficult. I have thanked the Lord for the minimal pain that I was sure would accompany the rigorous schedule. And now, in His goodness, He has seen fit to test my "continual thanksgiving" by allowing me to experience that pain. Although not substantial in light of many others' pains, I am dealing with both a physical and emotional struggle in this. For one, my fingers, wrists, and elbows hurt! But also, I believe the Lord has given me the gift to play, the opportunity to further develop it, the love of playing, and also the desire to do so for His glory. When I am hindered in furthering those pursuits, my finite mind wonders how such a hindrance could bring Him the glory I want to give. But truth reigns supreme, and I now have the opportunity to dwell on His promises of sovereignty, peace, hope, faithfulness, grace, and many others that sustain through difficult seasons. Would you pray with me that His glory would shine through this struggle, that I would joyfully persevere, and that others would see Him more clearly in my weakness?

Retreat to the Mountains

One of my friends from my homeschooling years has a "mountain house" 13 miles away which she and her family enjoy frequently. After not seeing each other more than twice during our college years, I had a great time catching up with her my second weekend here. This weekend, her mom has planned a "girls-get-together" to belatedly celebrate her birthday and graduation. Some of her aunts and cousins are coming as well, and they have invited me to join the family. So, tomorrow, I will put aside the studies of Beethoven, the piano books, the research, and enjoy a much needed respite in the beautiful mountains. Whether a small flower or a vast mountainside, God's beauty permeates the earth. I hope I never lose my appreciation of such blessings.

Beauty in Quiet Places

Today was the start of my third week of classes, yet not one day has been "routine." I have seen the Lord continue to develop the lessons He taught me in Russia. This is something I have prayed for, and something others have been praying for, so I praise the Lord for His work, and thank those of you who have had a part. The more I experience in life, the more grateful I become for the intercession of believers. What a privilege to lift up a fellow soldier before the Lord, asking Him to be the strength for the battle, the energy for the race, and then knowing that the Lord will not fail to answer according to His perfect will!
One struggle I face in the midst of the busyness is finding time to stop and appreciate the small blessings, like the beauty of a flower. The picture above is a lily from the pond in the back yard. This is the second one that has bloomed, gone through its open and close cycle according to the sun, and then withered after the third day. Its present beauty reminds me of the Lord's intimate and loving care, even of creations that quickly fade. How much more is that same care manifested to those He is conforming into His own image. I pray that I will continue to make time to be reminded of the truths found in quiet places.

Graduate School

By this Saturday, I will have been a graduate student for 13 days and will be thankful for the weekend -- in order that I might have time to begin treading through the seemingly insurmountable amount of work and piano practice. My daily schedule is full between an ideal 4 hours of practice, classes, and my assistantship work, which includes accompanying for the Madison Singers, accompanying for the symphony orchestra, and working as a secretarial assistant to Dr. Ritcher, head of the music education department. My nights are then devoted to all the reading and researching and more practicing!
The Lord has provided a good church for me to attend -- Freedom Baptist Church. Only 1/2 mile from where I live, this small but friendly group of believers has already welcomed me. I am thankful the Lord so quickly answered this prayer. It will be a needed as the opportunities for spiritual fellowship are now much fewer. But the Lord has been faithful in the past to provide what I need, and I have the confident assurance He will continue to do so, even if the needs and provisions to meet those needs are different than what I am used to or even think are the right ones. His ways are not mine, and for this I know I am to be grateful.