Family Weekend

The coming week's schedule doesn't exactly match the wonderfully relaxing weekend I enjoyed with my family, but I was able to set aside the books and the piano practice just fine and spend a refreshing 40 hours with Dad, Mom, Katie, and Buddy here in Harrisonburg. The Saturday night JMU POPS concert went well -- I joined the symphony orchestra for an exciting performance of four Star Wars movements. Three other music ensembles along with the orchestra provided a very professional but fun evening. The weekend was full of enjoyable things -- like Thai food Friday night, a Scrabble game with Mom, a Cribbage round with Katie, grilling, wonderful coffee with even better people to share it with (thank you, Pastor and Mrs. Kimbrough!), and beautiful weather to enhance it all.
Although I have my first test in the morning, I was reminded how the Lord provides exactly what I need, even if it doesn't match my own ideas. I am refreshed and ready to face my week in the strength of the One who has called me to it.

Good and Perfect Gifts

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning" James 1:17.

Some gifts come packaged and wrapped, but some can't be confined to such, like a beautiful sunset or answered prayer. Some are anticipated, others surprise. Some are small while others overwhelm. As the receiver of a variety of gifts this week, I want to praise the Giver. His goodness is not determined by His gifts. In fact, it seems that His goodness is better realized in the waiting. Yet when He chooses to reveal His goodness through His gifts, He is the One to whom all praise is due. So I must testify of this as I think back through my week. I received gifts such as physical strength to persevere through weariness, emotional strength to deal with pain, energy for a class presentation and performance, a clear answer to a prayer for wisdom and direction, opportunities to testify of His work in me, restful sleep, spiritual refreshment from His Word, and even "little" things like chocolate, and the anticipated arrival of my family for a weekend visit!

I'm not the determiner of the goodness of the gift. That is the decision of the Giver. How thankful I am to be able to confidently trust that He will not withhold any good thing from those that walk uprightly! (Ps. 84:11)

After a Busy Week. . .

I decided to climb a tree. Yes, the life of a graduate student has enveloped me for the past week, and I needed an outlet. My aunt and uncle have an apple tree in the back yard, and no one enjoys its gifts except the bugs and one groundhog who makes appearances for each meal. I have gone out to pick them, but most have been either hanging beyond my reach or already infested. This evening, however, after eating my dinner on the screened-in porch, I walked out to assess the possibility of climbing up, and then the extent of the reward for my labor (which turned out to be quite satisfactory, not because of the number of good apples, but because of the refreshment of a challenge completed and enjoyed). Since I was home alone, I decided not to go for the best apples which happened to be hanging farthest from the trunk and highest from the ground. But I did find a few that the insects had missed.

What does this have to do with graduate school? I'm not really sure. Maybe it is my way of keeping some balance in my life! This week has had its challenges: accompanying for a senior vocalist preparing for a very quickly-approaching recital, deciding on and researching for a large project, preparing a Beethoven sonata presentation and performance for which I have not had the length of time nor the wrist cooperation to perfect, health concerns in my family members and friends, and my own struggles of wrist pain, exhaustion, and other personality "weaknesses" (yes, these are good for me, but hard). The Lord has been so good to put these things in my life in order that my weaknesses would magnify His strength. And I also praise Him for the time He gives to take a break from graduate school life and enjoy His creation, even in an apple tree.

Painful Rejoicing

Because I had no access to a piano this past summer, adjusting to a four-hour practice day has been difficult. I have thanked the Lord for the minimal pain that I was sure would accompany the rigorous schedule. And now, in His goodness, He has seen fit to test my "continual thanksgiving" by allowing me to experience that pain. Although not substantial in light of many others' pains, I am dealing with both a physical and emotional struggle in this. For one, my fingers, wrists, and elbows hurt! But also, I believe the Lord has given me the gift to play, the opportunity to further develop it, the love of playing, and also the desire to do so for His glory. When I am hindered in furthering those pursuits, my finite mind wonders how such a hindrance could bring Him the glory I want to give. But truth reigns supreme, and I now have the opportunity to dwell on His promises of sovereignty, peace, hope, faithfulness, grace, and many others that sustain through difficult seasons. Would you pray with me that His glory would shine through this struggle, that I would joyfully persevere, and that others would see Him more clearly in my weakness?

Retreat to the Mountains

One of my friends from my homeschooling years has a "mountain house" 13 miles away which she and her family enjoy frequently. After not seeing each other more than twice during our college years, I had a great time catching up with her my second weekend here. This weekend, her mom has planned a "girls-get-together" to belatedly celebrate her birthday and graduation. Some of her aunts and cousins are coming as well, and they have invited me to join the family. So, tomorrow, I will put aside the studies of Beethoven, the piano books, the research, and enjoy a much needed respite in the beautiful mountains. Whether a small flower or a vast mountainside, God's beauty permeates the earth. I hope I never lose my appreciation of such blessings.

Beauty in Quiet Places

Today was the start of my third week of classes, yet not one day has been "routine." I have seen the Lord continue to develop the lessons He taught me in Russia. This is something I have prayed for, and something others have been praying for, so I praise the Lord for His work, and thank those of you who have had a part. The more I experience in life, the more grateful I become for the intercession of believers. What a privilege to lift up a fellow soldier before the Lord, asking Him to be the strength for the battle, the energy for the race, and then knowing that the Lord will not fail to answer according to His perfect will!
One struggle I face in the midst of the busyness is finding time to stop and appreciate the small blessings, like the beauty of a flower. The picture above is a lily from the pond in the back yard. This is the second one that has bloomed, gone through its open and close cycle according to the sun, and then withered after the third day. Its present beauty reminds me of the Lord's intimate and loving care, even of creations that quickly fade. How much more is that same care manifested to those He is conforming into His own image. I pray that I will continue to make time to be reminded of the truths found in quiet places.

Graduate School

By this Saturday, I will have been a graduate student for 13 days and will be thankful for the weekend -- in order that I might have time to begin treading through the seemingly insurmountable amount of work and piano practice. My daily schedule is full between an ideal 4 hours of practice, classes, and my assistantship work, which includes accompanying for the Madison Singers, accompanying for the symphony orchestra, and working as a secretarial assistant to Dr. Ritcher, head of the music education department. My nights are then devoted to all the reading and researching and more practicing!
The Lord has provided a good church for me to attend -- Freedom Baptist Church. Only 1/2 mile from where I live, this small but friendly group of believers has already welcomed me. I am thankful the Lord so quickly answered this prayer. It will be a needed as the opportunities for spiritual fellowship are now much fewer. But the Lord has been faithful in the past to provide what I need, and I have the confident assurance He will continue to do so, even if the needs and provisions to meet those needs are different than what I am used to or even think are the right ones. His ways are not mine, and for this I know I am to be grateful.

Graduate School Transition

I arrived in Harrisonburg, Va, yesterday at my new home for the next two years. The Lord has shown His goodness to me through providing family nearby both for my college years and now my graduate. My dad's sister and her husband, Drs. Marilou and George Johnson, both work at JMU and live 1.3 miles from the university. So I will be staying with them, Lord willing, for the duration of my master's program.
Beyond knowing my living situation, I know very little about the rest of my fall! But I will soon find out my class schedule, my assistantship responsibilities (which are now in the music education department), and everything else that will fill up my time! I am praying about a church to get involved with and have a few options that I hope to begin visiting as soon as possible. Although much is unknown to me right now, I have full confidence in God's plan and anticipate His making much of that known to me over the next few weeks. I will keep you updated as I find these out!

Russia recap

For those of you who still check this after such a long period of inactivity, I am sorry! Limited internet access in Russia provided no time for blog updates. But I am home and ready to report of an incredible experience. No other time in my life have I felt so dependent on the Lord's strength and grace and yet felt so aware of His presence, confident of His goodness, and certain of His guidance. Everything from His clear direction of where I was to spend my summer to having my suitcase lost for 19 days pointed to the importance of waiting on Him. The most impacting education I had was a chapter from Andrew Murray's book Waiting on God. The chapter, entitled "To Know His Goodness," opened my eyes to the importance of waiting -- not to receive the gift, but to learn of the Giver's goodness whether He gives the specific gift or not. This was a confrontation to my thinking, yet satisfying resolution of a long-held tension.

Every day in Russia was an adventure. The culture is extremely laid back, so I rarely new what each day would hold. I spent most of my time taking care of Caleb and Ricco, the 9 month old twins. During my stay, the Vogel family moved from their 9th story apartment to their own home. This wonderful change was also very stressful due to the amount of "fixing up" the house needed, as well as the demands of four children under four years old! I have returned more able to relax about things that before would have caused me great frustration. I am praying that I will be able to appropriate these lessons as I continue on now with school this fall.

I enjoyed just about everything I ate there, especially when I was really hungry! The Russians eat bread at every meal, drink hot tea like water, and have much later meal times than I am accustomed to. Mu last week in Russia, we were at an English Language Camp that Peter organized, and our meal times were 10am, 2pm, and 7pm (or 8, depending on if the meat people delivered on time!). Flexibility was key to my time there. : )

Because I spent most of my time with 2 babies, I did a lot of the normal dressing, changing, feeding, cleaning, and watching. Even though this was a full time job, the times of sitting on the floor with them or taking them for a walk gave me opportunities to pray and review Scripture, things that were wonderfully refreshing and sustaining in my frequent state of fatigue.

I don't think I even saw a piano while I was in Russia, but I was able to play the keyboard each Sunday at church. This ministry was one of my favorites, and, although I don't feel any more prepared for grad school in the sense of increased musical knowledge or ability, I wouldn't trade my time there for anything. I am looking forward to seeing how the Lord uses the lessons and experiences I had this summer in my next step at James Madison. I believe they will be many, and I am thankful to be able to praise the Lord for these.

Soldiers of Christ

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may stand against the wiles of the devil." Eph. 6:10-11
"Then comes the end, when He delivers the kingdom to God the Father, when He puts an end to all rule and all authority and power. . . . The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives is the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord." I Cor. 15: 24, 56-57

The music for our service tomorrow is centered around the soldier theme, and I have been contemplating my role as Christ's soldier. Life is certainly a mighty conflict against unnumbered foes, but courage can rise with danger because the strife will not be long. And I have the assured hope of total victory. The Victor's song is sure, but today is the noise of battle. I must fight now, confidently sure of the crown of life promised to the overcomer, as well as a future and eternal reign with the King of glory.
I must put the armor on, yet I am only strong in the strength God supplies through Christ. Soldiers must give all: total commitment, total abandonment to self. And soldiers must protect all -- full armor of God -- to "fortify the whole." The awaiting result is standing complete at last before Christ.
I must go to war with the Cross before me. If not, I fight a losing battle. The Cross is the reason I have victory, for on it Christ paid my sin as my Substitute. He rose again, conquering sin and death, so that I too might be a conqueror through Him. The battle, though intense, has the promise of triumph, giving way to a joyful song into battle.
This kind of soldier does not get to pick his battles, nor his battlefields. I am under the mercy of a loving Commander who knows what is best for me. This soldier must obey completely. Though ultimate victory is guaranteed, my disobedience results in enemy gains. This soldier must continue to fight, even if exhausted, wounded, or conflicted. I must remain faithful, trusting in God's faithfulness to me, His strength, and His merciful forgiveness of my failures. This soldier finally needs other faithful fellow soldiers. No soldier is sufficient in and of himself. I alone cannot stand up against the enemy temptations. I need what God has provided, and one of His provisions is the body of Christ.
Our sovereign Commander leads us to triumph. May we follow in joyful song, trusting every step of His battle plan, and learning to work with our fellow soldiers to bring ultimate glory to the Victor.

Ps. 62:5-6

The beach vacation is over, but I am still in Va Beach with my grandparents until tomorrow. Maybe working outside in the hot sun isn't typical "relaxation" but I have loved getting to help Gramps with the mowing and the hedge trimming (well, the clean-up from the hedge trimming). If I'm dressed to get sweaty and dirty, I love it. Sometime, I want to bale hay.

I had a refreshing visit with Kirk Lehner (youth pastor of Colonial) and his wife last night. We've been friends since I was 4. He used to visit our house on his way to and from college about 15 years ago, and we have continued to stay in touch, especially with his visits to Northland during my time there. Being encouraged, challenged, and refreshed all at once is a welcomed but privileged opportunity. I think that I will learn to appreciate that even more as I go to a secular grad school.

God's promises, not only about Himself but also about His work, remain unchanging even during the midst of circumstantial transitions. How thankful I am for this, and for His complete sufficiency whether we choose to accept it or not. But what greater peace and joy and fulfillment results from a life that is satisfied with Him alone!

"My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense: I shall not be moved." Ps.62:5-6

Our vacation week has come to an end. Mom, Buddy, and I are staying a few extra days with Gramps, Gram, and Grace, so we are still in the Va Beach area. The week was good, not only to relax and enjoy, but also to continue to grow in the Lord. I am thankful that He never takes vacation from His work in my heart. The more He works, the more I realize how much more transforming I need Him to do. I guess that is a good thing, but it is not self-satisfying. Then again, self-satisfaction minimizes need for Him, so I shouldn't want that to begin with! I have been sobered with the reality of sin, not only in me but around me. But I have been claiming His promises that He has given me everything I need for life and godliness (2 Pet. 1:3), that He is working in me giving me the desire to obey Him as well as the power I need to obey (Phil. 2:13). The life of a pilgrim is the one I am to be living. I want to, but the conflict is great. My mindset is not naturally eternal. But I praise my eternal God for patiently performing His purification of my life so that I will be a vessel fit for His unique purpose for me.

Vacation blessings

Another good day at the beach. The weather has been beautiful: not too hot, but warm enough to need sunscreen (well, maybe I discovered that a bit too late today). So, I've been thinking. . . how do I "vacation" when I am accustomed to always having something to do or somewhere to go? Reading is great, but I can only sit for so long. Working on blogs and facebooks can be fun, (and also waste a great deal of time), but this doesn't provide much lasting substance. Maybe no one else has this conflict, and for that you should be thankful. But today, after reading and thinking about a section in Lewis S. Chafer's He That is Spiritual on the concept of being dead to sin, I found Gramps and had a great discussion with him. He is so wise, yet very humble and practical. I walked away from our conversation with a greater thankfulfulness both for a godly grandfather and for a God who has given me everything I need for life and godliness.